Like the Dodgers’ Clayton Kershaw, these are so reliably good, it’s easy to take their 2.42 lifetime ERA for granted.īut that would be a mistake, because these have it all: heat, texture, crunch and flavor. That which steadily performs, day in and day out. The snack to which all others must be compared.
True heat aficionados won’t be satisfied but your cousin from Connecticut who calls La Croix “spicy water” should be able to handle them.
The mouth-puckering tang gives way to a pleasant crunch and modest heat, making it easy to unconsciously plow your way through a bag. Our resident social media guru, Lauren Lee, is convinced they ate a hole in one of her molars.Īnd yet, even as your teeth are melting, it’s hard to stop eating these. Pop Fuego kernels are not particularly heat-heavy but they’re almost hyperbolically tangy and acidic. It’s more like popping blackheads on your friend’s back after gym class: It’s gross, but you kind of love it, and you hate yourself for loving it. Maybe roller coaster isn’t the right word. The MSG is cranked up to a 12, and the innocent, lightly pink color of the kernels belies a highly intense flavor roller coaster. I say “incomparable” because I literally don’t know what to compare it to - I vacillated between whether this was very good or very, very bad, and I ended up deciding that I like it. I bring you the incomparable Pop Fuego, basically Takis popcorn. The minor downside is that the airy, fried texture, while initially novel, can become a little nauseating as the pieces become consistently compacted in your back teeth. The puffs are consistently, heavily seasoned. With spicy standard-issue Cheetos and Doritos, you get odd ones with barely any spice at all, and a handful of “good ones” with a lot of powder caked on them. These little guys, shaped like a cartoon elephant’s trunk, are just like regular Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, right? Not so! The tiny dimples in the fried puffed corn hold the spice powder better, leading to a more intense heat and flavor.
I have ranked the snacks based on 1) flavor and 2) heat, the amount of saliva-coaxing capsaicin I detected in each one. There are subtle differences, which I will happily illustrate below. What’s that you say? All these Flamin’ Hot and spicy snacks taste the same? UNTRUE. I have compiled every spicy snack known to mankind, save for the ones that I could not find, deem unworthy of inclusion, or both. Like strains of antibiotic-resistant bacteria, their infiltration of our country cannot be stopped, so there’s little point in fighting it. What about the children? Well, the millennials and Gen Z-ers are at the forefront of this red-hot orgy, frankly, and it is in that spirit that I hereby present to you the authoritative, definitive and completely undisputed L.A. Now, you can’t throw a rock without hitting a hot-chicken place, or a YouTuber posting a video of themselves eating Carolina Reapers and other esophagus-destroying peppers. We’ve gotten far, far away from the actual origins of spiciness in food - to prevent and mask spoilage, impart flavor and even keep rats away. And if this sweet/hot combo tastes anything like a classic Thai sweet chili sauce, they may even edge out Chester’s as my personal favorite Cheeto-made Flamin’ Hot snack.We have a nationwide preoccupation with heat. If these new Cheetos are anything like their spicy predecessors, Flamin’ Hot, Flamin’ Hot Limón, Cheddar Jalapeño, Xxtra Hot Cheetos, and Chester’s Hot Fries (my personal fave), then they can’t be that bad. I guess we’ll just have to find out for ourselves. If this is true, “sweet met heat but it didn’t work out” would be a more accurate product description. A few people thought they were way too sweet and not spicy enough. One person said the new Cheetos were spicy enough to make them cough, but also quite sweet, and they liked the balance. These exclusive and mysterious new Cheetos are difficult to obtain, so all we really know about them is based on the description on the packaging, which reads: “Sweet Meets Heat.” I turned to product reviews to find out what these puppies (er, kitties?) actually taste like, and so far, reviews are mixed. But don’t be afraid, because according to reviews, these are more sweet than hot. It’s called Flamin’ Hot Sweet Carolina Reaper-yes, that Carolina Reaper (the “world’s hottest chili pepper” that absolutely destroyed Rhett and Link).
Available for a limited time only at select Walmart stores, this new Cheetos flavor sounds like it could be even hotter and flamin’er than the other Flamin’ Hot options. If you’re feeling a little extra heat right now, that might be because there’s a new type of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in town (plus, you know, it’s June).
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